“Oh, I probably should have told you…
… I’ll have to pass this along to the person who gets the final say so.
… There’s a third party with veto power (who you’ve not yet met).
… We only have a week to get this nailed down, as a hard deadline.
… [Insert critical fact you needed at the beginning of the deal here].”
The jolt that comes from getting a key piece of information after the moment you really needed it is a specific kind of blood-chilling. With no way to go back and do things differently, you’re forced to start putting out fires and face a loss of time, money, and/or energy.
Maybe it’s happened to you at the doctor’s office (oh, that procedure isn’t covered by insurance), with your kids (Yeah, this project is due tomorrow… and I haven’t started), or a friend or family member (Whoops, I should have mentioned they only take cash here).
Sometimes these moments present a minor inconvenience. If a restaurant only takes cash and you happen to have an emergency $20 on you, or your friend can spot you, no big deal. If, however, you’ve spent 6 months on a negotiation, only to just now find out the decision maker hasn’t been in the room… well, that’s a costly mistake.
To be fair, it is sometimes unavoidable that key information comes out at the 11th hour. Life happens to the best of us. Folks get moved around on a project. Economies shift, and along with them, the needs of companies. Partnerships form, crumble, re-form with different dynamics.
Or, you might be dealing with negotiation pros. Folks who know that playing their cards close to the vest is an effective strategy to destabilize their counterparts as a deadline looms.
Whatever the case, there’s a way for you to minimize the frequency of getting too little information too late.
Before we dive into that though, let’s talk psychology for a moment. Great negotiation is informed by great psychology. Three things are true of most every human:
- People are suspicious when they’re being questioned. They clam up and are less likely to tell you what you need to know if you hammer away with question after question.
- People like to be correct. And, they enjoy correcting.
- We all want to be seen and heard. Validated, in a word.
How is this helpful?
First thing, avoid outright questioning. Particularly if you don’t know the person you’re talking with particularly well. Or, if there’s a piece of delicate information you need, one that would be considered generally inappropriate to simply ask for outright.
Well, how in the heck do you get info if you can’t ask for it?
This is where that second piece of psychology becomes incredibly important.
People enjoy being correct. Being in the know. Having the lowdown. Being better than you because they know something you don’t.
So….
You engage that desire/enjoyment/superiority complex that comes with being correct and correcting:
Make a presumptive statement.
A presumptive statement is one that makes an assumption or presumption about the information you want or need. Perhaps the percentage of markup on a retail item if you’re looking for a discount. Or the person who actually makes the decisions at the company you’re pitching. Even how hard a prospective friend/collaborator/romantic partner works (bonus for genuine flattery points on this one).
In practice, a presumptive statement sounds something like:
- “You’ve been nose to the grindstone for quite some time; things must be really stressful at the office.”
- “Work must be hectic right now.”
- “So the markup on the jewelry here must be 50%. “
- “You’re making some critical decisions.”
- “You must…[insert quality/characteristic/duty here]… “
Along with presuming something about the other person’s circumstance, you’re also labeling their likely emotional makeup. You’re validating them. Letting them know you get them. You see them, and hear them.
Newsflash: people make decisions based on emotions, not logic. As you avoid outright questioning, appeal to a person’s desire to be correct, and let them know you understand them via an emotional label, you can pull all the right levers to unleash the information you’re after.
A full conversation might go something like:
You: “You’ve got a really big team on this deal. It’s tough to coordinate so many needs and opinions.”
Negotiation Counterpart (NC): “Yeah, we’ve got about 10 people who have input into the final decision.”
You: “Oh, wow. And everyone must have veto power.”
NC: “No. Everyone gets their say, and we try to take the majority into account, but it’s the managers of departments x and y who get final say.”
Bingo!
You asked zero questions, and gained key intel that will save you time, energy, and money on the deal. The folks you absolutely must have onboard are managers of departments x and y. So now you can get to work strategically making sure they are on board, ASAP. Set up operations to make sure they’re in the loop. Get a recurring meeting on their calendars. Ask them what they need that they’re not yet seeing. Touch base about what they need to see more of before they’re comfortable signing off. Etc etc etc.
As with any interpersonal or negotiation skill, it can feel incredibly disingenuous to practice these techniques. It feels awkward to learn the wording, and you may think other folks are on to your strategy as you go.
First, practice with your spouse. Or siblings. Or parents. Or odd uncle Joe or aunt Betty. At home, the pressure’s off… you can fumble and be clumsy without the possible loss of a crucial deal, months of work, or millions of dollars.
AND, you’ll notice what our private clients and other members of The Persuasion Lab experience as they use these tactics and techniques at home: their personal lives improve by orders of magnitude. You’re welcome.
Meanwhile, as you get more comfortable and recognize that folks don’t clock this technique, start using it in professional settings. Use it with the barista at the coffee shop, a colleague, your boss, a referral partner, a negotiation counterpart…
Finally, if you’re serious about no longer losing precious resources and want to fast track your negotiation skills, join us in the Premium Plus community of the Persuasion Lab. Nothing makes perfect like perfect practice, and that’s exactly what you’ll get as a Premium Plus member.
Wishing you winning negotiations!